Jessica Gelep, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry's librarian.

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More Character Memes Yay: Staff Edition.

1) Randall McQueen
2) Jared Kane
3) Arthur Davenport
4) Carson “Panda” Choi
5) Nicholas Halden
6) Astrid Hamilton
7) Miles Hunter (BECAUSE I CAN OK)
8) Cameron Choi

1) You are reading in a tree and then [1] calls for you; what does he/she want?

McQueen? What the fuck is he doing, calling for me? He probably just wants me to come down and then tell me he has nothing to tell me, so I have to climb up the fucking tree again.

2) [5] tells you he/she needs help with an outfit because he/she is going out on a date with some one.

Someone as in that curly haired boy? Nick should wear something that makes him look and feel younger than he already is so… jeans and a nice shirt with a zip-up hoodie?

3) [4] wakes you up in the night to tell you a secret, what is it?

He’s obviously drunk. But he tells me that he secretly wants to shag me; he just can’t because his mother doesn’t like white girls and Artie would probably kill both of us.

4) [3] falls for you! What do you do?

Roll around on the ground and laugh for a year because there’s no way my biffle, the gayest man in the universe, would fall for me. I’ve got a V where he’d rather see a P.

5) [7] and [1] are fighting over you. Do you stop them or walk away?

(OH MY GOD MILES AND RANDALL WHAT THE FUCK) I’d probably summon popcorn and a chair to watch, as this is clearly a dream. Miles would never fight for anything, and McQueen is an asshole… Oh wait. I’d join in on killing the flamingo with Miles.

6) You see [2] and [8] kissing! How do you feel?

EXTREMELY confused. But also, depending on how drunk I am, aroused. If I was sober, I’d probably hex Jared for messing around with that girl he likes’ feelings again.

7) [6] asks you if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Haha, oh how fucking nice of Astrid to ask me how I’m doing in the boyfriend compartment. I smile as much as I can and say I’m not interested in dating anyone, while secretly cursing her in multiple ways in my head.

8) You all go to a theme park for the day and you go on a roller coaster! Only you get stuck at the very top with [2].

Oh Jared, I don’t mind. We’ve known each other since we were 11, so it’s not like it’ll be awkward or anything. If anything it’ll give me good time to yell at him for kissing Cameron earlier and also complain about all the shitty things McQueen has probably done.

9) You save [7] by doing his/her homework for him/her, he/she gives you a kiss on the cheek!

Aww. Miles is one of the very few people I don’t mind kissing me.

10) [1] tries to tell [6] how he/she feels about him/her, you hear all of this.

I don’t care. It’s none of my fucking business. I hope they have a happy fucking life and die of AIDs together.

11) What is the worst name [4] has ever called you?

It was probably while we were drunk, so I don’t remember. Aside from the whole ‘cheap’ thing.

12) [3] adds you as a friend on Facebook.

Well Artie’s gonna have to come and explain to me what this facebook thing is, cause I’ve got no idea.

13) You come home late and [1] tells you that someone called for you earlier but you weren’t in.

What the fuck is he doing in my fucking house?! I hex the shit out of him then throw him out. Too bad for whoever tried to call for me. Cause I’ll never get back to them.

14) You find out that [8] and [7] are going out.

AWWWW Miles is dating again? That’s sooo adorable! Although, I was under the impression that Cameron was straight…?

15) Who do you love most out of [2] and [6]?

Is that even a real question? Jared, obviously. Astrid’s… Not my fucking cup of tea.

16) [4] walks in on you showering, how do you react?

WHAT THE FUCK PANDA EWW GET THE FUCK OUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY FUCKING BATHROOM?!?!?!?!!

17) [8] gives you a golden bracelet for you birthday, how do you thank them?

Offer to go drink with him that night. If he doesn’t know what that means, then I probably will never speak to him again.

18) [1] is STILL trying to get [6]!

AGAIN. I DON’T. FUCKING. CARE.

19) [5] takes you rock climbing and falls, do you catch him/her in time?

Yes, it would be terrible for Nick to get hurt, he’s such an awkward sweetheart.

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